


Shade of Brown

by LigerCat



Series: Shades [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Asexual Character, Awkward Kissing, Crack-ish, First Kiss, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Phineas, Ghosts, Hunter Ferb, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Original Character Death(s), Other, Phineas is too innocent for his own good, Platonic Kissing, Possession, Werewolves, ghost Phineas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigerCat/pseuds/LigerCat
Summary: This was, by far, the weirdest night of Ferb's life.





	Shade of Brown

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own.

Ferb had always picked things up quickly. With hunting, it had been the same. It made it easy to forget he hadn't been doing it that long.

But right now, staring down the barrow of his own gun, Ferb felt every bit of his inexperience. Everything had pointed to there only being one werewolf. The one he'd killed seconds before he was jumped by the other two.

The male werewolf's hand shook slightly, his finger tense enough on the trigger to send Ferb's heart pounding against his ribs.

Behind him, the female held the dead one's head to her chest.

If they hadn't murdered seven people before he'd found them, Ferb might actually feel bad about it.

Meanwhile, Ferb hadn't moved from his position on the ground. No reason to panic the werewolf into firing before he was able to make a plan.

A hint of movement behind the female caught his eye. Nothing more than the brief flash of a person's outline was enough to remind him he wasn't alone out here.

Though, Ferb wasn't sure what the ghost could do. Phineas hadn't shown any signs of violence, which while good, made Ferb wonder if he'd be able to hurt anyone.

The female jerked forward with a gasp, her hands falling limp and dropping the body.

Ferb stared, the gun being pointed at him suddenly the less interesting thing happening at that moment.

She stood up and started slowly walking towards the male. One foot slipped out from under her almost making her fall more than once before she reached him. Siding up next to the male, she held out a hand. "Can I do it?"

The male glanced at her. Eyes shooting between her and Ferb, he handed over the gun.

Instead of turning it on Ferb, she pointed at the other werewolf and pulled the trigger.

"Holy shite." Ferb pushed himself backwards, away from her even as she threw the gun away from herself.

"I killed him. I never killed anyone before." Raising her hands, she stared at them. "I can't—I can't believe I did that." Her eyes locked onto Ferb. "You're okay? Aren't you? I've never in inside someone before. I didn't know I could do this! That—This would have been really helpful a few decades ago."

The most ridiculous thought popped into Ferb's head. "Phineas?"

"Yeah?" She—He? They blinked at him.

Ferb opened and closed his months a few times, words not coming.

"Oh! My bad." Phineas held out a hand to him. "Come on." They grinned. "Let me help you up."

Grabbing his hand, Ferb wondered this was a bizarre dream. Or perhaps the werewolf had shot him and this was some hallucination he was having as he bled out.

Phineas pulled him up. "Woah." Then both of their hands were on Ferb's arm, feeling it. "It's been so long since I touched something. Like really touched something and felt it and you're really warm. Are you always this warm? It's nice." Phineas pressed the werewolf's body against him as if to fully enjoy the warmth they felt.

It was strangely sensual. Ferb let out a shaky breath, reminding himself that this was Phineas.

As soon as this was over, he was dropping the necklace, and thus Phineas, off at the motel and going straight to the nearest bar. 

Swallowing, Ferb pushed Phineas away from him. "Get out of her."

"But I want to enjoy this longer." Phineas dropped their head and stepped back. "This is weird. I never realized how unfaltering the female body was from this angle." Raising their hands, Phineas grabbed the body's breasts.

Ferb gawked as Phineas continued feeling up the body he was in. When the hands reached the female's crotch, and Phineas let out a low sound of surprise before starting to grope the area, it knocked Ferb out his trance. Grabbing their arms, Ferb pulled the hands away.

"Stop that." Ferb's cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"Sorry." Phineas slipped their arms from Ferb's grasp and scratched the back of their head as they smiled sheepishly. "It just—I never—This is weird."

Ferb nodded at the vast understatement. "Please, get out of her." The words came out raspy.

"There's so many things I never got to try before I was killed and so many things I haven't been able to do in forever. Oh! I wanna see if I can taste." Phineas bounced on their toes. "Can we get something to eat first. Then—then I'll get out of her."

That sounded like a very bad idea. Ferb shook his head.

"But—"

"If there's something you want to do, that can be done quickly and without leaving here, we'll do it." That would narrow down Phineas' choices. It's like not the boy could not up with anything too bad, right? Ferb hoped.

"Anything?" Wide, stolen brown eyes bored into his.

Ferb nodded, steeling himself to his decision.

Phineas titled their head and rubbed their chin. "There's one thing that comes to mind."

Before Ferb could ask what it was, Phineas was on him again. Hands braced on Ferb's shoulders, Phineas used the female's height to reach Ferb's face.

It was, by far, the worst kiss Ferb had ever experienced. It was wet, sloppy, tasted of blood, and strangely cold. But after a second's shock, he forced himself to return it.

He had said anything.

Phineas pulled back and scrunched up their nose. "I don't get the appeal."

A laugh bubbled up in Ferb's chest. He couldn't help it. He doubled over, hands on knees as he laughed.

Once it died down some, he tried to talk, "This is... the most insane night of my life." It was. Even more so than the night he had discovered the supernatural was real.

"I'm gonna leave her now. You might wanna grab your gun."

Gasping for air, Ferb nodded. He strengthened up and walked over to pick up his pistol. As he turned to face them, the body did another jerky motion, almost falling over. He aimed.

The female blinked a few times before her eyes locked onto his, brown filled with hate and confusion.

Ferb pulled the trigger.


End file.
